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Monday Music Monkey Review

11/18/2012

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Hello my bitches, today I am reviewing the one and only Beyonce or should I say “Sasha Fierce”. I am reviewing her classic album and one that should be in everyone's collection and that is the album 'I am...' This album is I think one of her best albums and I must have for y I don’t get it when singers call themselves something else. Is it an alter-ego, is it an alias?

Anyway the album is one that I don’t know why I bought it but anyway I did (and no, I am not a flamboyant homosexual). I must say that although Beyonce is one hell sexy bitch I mean those curves are awesome (she isn’t one of those skinny little bitches that seem to be cropping up everywhere these days). I mean look at her she has curves in all the right places! ( I’d tap that for sure!).

Now onto her album. The album is a two disc set, the first disc is Beyonce, the second disc is Sasha Fierce (now if only I could get the two ladies together, one could be stroking whilst the other is…) So first off the first song on the first disc (fuck that’s confusing especially when you’re still a bit hung over, but I will persist) is ‘If I Were A Boy’ this song is cute it says all the things that she would do if she were a boy, which is crap lets face it if she had a dick for a day, she’d go out and fuck anything and everything, well maybe not as Beyonce but certainly if she was Sasha Fierce, and don’t bullshit me I mean if I had a clit for a bit, I’d certainly be open all hours (just for the experience!). Moving on bitches ‘Halo’ this is an awesome, with Beyonce’s soaring vocals I love singing along to this one. ‘Disappear’ this one is alright. ‘Broken-Hearted Girl’ is a ballad, sung very well though. ‘Ave Maria’ another ballad, not my favourite. ‘Smash Into You’ starts nicely again not my favourite. ‘Satellites’ nice piano intro but another fucking ballad, Beyonce has a great voice though. ‘That’s Why You’re Beautiful’ another fucking ballad. Look I like a good ballad but not when the whole disc is one I mean it’s like listening to one long ballad that doesn’t seem to end. So onto disc 2.

‘Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)’ this is why I bought the album I abso-motherfucking-lutely love this song it is Beyonce at her best punching out these diva dance songs that I like her for. ‘Radio’ has a good R&B feel to it, again this sits really well on Beyonce. ‘Diva’ is another great dance song very catchy. ’Sweet Dreams’ another awesome song that I love, sung well with great music as well, real dirty feel to it. Just awesome.

‘Video Phone’ is great nice beat, again that real down and dirty R&B feel, love it. ‘Hello’ is not a favourite of mine especially the lyric “you had me at hello” fuck that, that’s a line from a Tom Cruise movie and I can’t stand Tom Cruise but that’s another story.  ’Ego’ this song grows on you, gets better the more you listen to it. Lastly is ‘Scared Of Lonely’ awesome why to finish an album. this is a good song, her voice and lyrics seem very sincere.

Overall it is weird, I really loved the Sasha Fierce disc as it’s seems that is what I like Beyonce to do upbeat, dance inspired, not the disc one ballad’s as they get boring real quick. So will take one shot for Beyonce’s looks and 4 shots of whiskey for disc 2 (that’s five shot’s so far) but I will take 3 shots off her that first disc. So my bitches I give this/these albums 2 shots of whisky out of five. I would have given more but I really didn’t like that first album.

Till next week peace out my bitches!


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    Herbie The 
    Music Monkey

    What’s up my bitches? I’m Herbie, the music reviewer. I love bananas and whiskey and I just love music and I will rate any CD in my own special way. See what I do is whack the headphones on and play it loud, if I love it and it moves me I will crack out the dance moves (the moonwalk is my signature move, that and the reach around, but that’s another story) or if it’s heavy I will head bang, and if I hate it well the monkey comes out in me and I will usually smear the CD in my own excrement (hey I’m a monkey after all). 

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